SCRAMBLE

I picked Bella up from school the other day and

she requested on the car ride home we play

SCRAMBLE

like scrambled eggs

SCRABBLE you mean?

Yeah... I mean scrabble.

I was impressed in first grade she had a word bank large enough to play scrabble.

So we played scrabble and ate cupcakes with blue frosting Luke and I had made that morning.

I layed a word.

Then she layed a word off mine.

Impressive I thought.

I layed a word, then...

she was stumped.

After a

long

long

long

time thinking,

she said,

"Mom this is really hard!"

Finally, she got one...

but this time it she didn't lay it in connection with any words on the board.

She just plopped it down like no big deal, wherever she thought fit!

I knew it was a little bit advance for a first grader,

so we put words all over the board wherever we thought fit and

played first grader scrabble that day.

Crystalizing

It's beginning to become more clear with each day. Yes, I wrestling with this season of waiting and uncertainty but not without faith. I know God promises direction and He always has delivered that for me. So the very day I blogged about the slowness of our (Luke and I) days, He (God) presented me with this from my favorite devotional, Streams in a Desert.

*Note- I ALWAYS read by the day they are dated, however the verse I've been clinging to for almost a year now, was at the top of the page for Feb. 5. Only God knows these things. As I was skipping back to January's current date, low and behold He got my attention so He could say things like this:

"I do not believe we have even begun to understand the wonderful power there is in being still. We are in such a hurry, always doing, that we are in danger of not allowing God the opportunity to work...."

There was lots more of that very-appropriate-for-my-moment wording and then a poem that followed:

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days--these waiting days--as ill!
The One who loves you best, who plans your way,
Has not forgotten your great need today!
And, if He waits, it's sure He waits to prove
To you His tender child, His heart's deep love.

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
You greatly long to know your dear Lord's will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corroding within, because of His delay--
Persuade yourself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way has opened. Then, ah, then how sweet!
How glad your heart, and then how swift your feet,
Your inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still, my sons & daughters! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could you for Him fill?
It's hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
It's hard, it's true! But then--He gives you grace
To count the hardest spot on the sweetest place.

By J. Danson Smith

I do view the waiting as ill.

I was having anxious thoughts.

I am wanting to know the Lord's will.

But I also know when God does open the door
how glad my heart and swift my feet are. So true.

Job Update:

It's almost comical the things I hear as I hunt for a job...

The stats

The "Job's been filled."

The "Everyone is signing up to substitute teach,

unless you know a teacher you won't get called!"

or the most recent, approaching my THIRD interview

with the SAME company,

scheduled for Wednesday.

It all sounded so promising until...

they called me Monday to say,

"The job position is on hold, so we are canceling the interview."

Really? On hold. I'll add it to my list. Hmmph.

Exhale.

SO....

Inhale.

Job Hunt has turned into

Mission: Going Back to School

School Update:

Currently I'm looking into getting my Special Education Credential in mild to moderate come fall, probably at good old San Jose State. There are 3 places locally I can get a credential, but I'm leaning toward San Jose State University for a few reasons:

1) I did my undergrad there

2) My mom lives in San Jose = childcare = save money

3) Bigger job pool and bigger pay over in San Jose. Currently there are 235 jobs in San Jose vs. 55 jobs in Santa Cruz.

4) Maybe I can crash a few waterpolo practices with the girls and get back in sexy shape:)

What to do...

Well, I think I'm with Kiki with the whole winter blues thing.


I think I would be suicidal if I lived in the snow, cuz we are only on day two of rain and I'm already wondering what a week of the projected rain will do to my kids and I.

It was only two days ago that it was sunshine in the high 70's! Life was glorious... I was out running along side the kids on their bikes, hitting up the surf, going for sunset runs with no kids and not minding being home all day long with the kids while Rod was sailing.

Why? Cuz the sun was out!





Rod invited out Bella's first grade teacher to help crew...


Mrs. Lenz, Rod and their first place cup they won.



But be careful what you wish for cuz a little over a year ago this time I was looking for change.

God change me I prayed. Life seemed stale. I was becoming complacent. Yeah, it happened. I started to have so much time on my hands with Bella off at school and solo time with Luke... I began to wonder and re-evaluate how to spend my mommy days. It is a weird thing to just be home with one.


For so long, Rod imagined my life slow, full of me time- not work in his mind. And for sooooo long he was wrong, dead wrong. I was barely cleaning up breakfast and it was time for lunch. The kids were full of messes and playdates to keep me busy. I didn't even have time to get on the computer or shower regularly. I would go to the gym just for a break and try to maintain a speed fast enough that the machine wouldn't turn off as I read a magazine and tried to relax.


Yet, the kids are growing and things are slowing. At least on these rainy days. I have coffee and clean the house before 9 or 10am (remember it's only 900 sq ft- so don't beat yourself up). Then I stare at Luke wondering how I can make our day productive and fun?

Yeah, somedays we have the library planned or playdate with a friend and I really stick to the rule of accomplishing one big outting for the day... but it's strange to be at this point of mommyhood and not awaiting another baby on the way. It's nice to have this time, but I feel guilty and want to make it productive. However, every outting besides the library seems to cost money. All my mommy friends are homeschooling their kids and busy with that. It's like it's all just slowing down and it's beginning to make me anxious.

I know I'm suppose to be looking for work, but even that isn't working out so well. I'm also looking into going back to school for a masters and teaching credential, but that is still down the road- fall. So life is just this uncomfortable waiting right now. I'm trying to be grateful and appreciate, cuz I know all good things come to an end. I think it's just the weather and the waiting of the unknown future getting to me. I just wonder how our family is going to play out in the next couple years. I guess I'm used to having a plan of attack.

I doubt anyone can relate cuz I was the one of the first to have babies and probably the first to stop having babies. Then there are my mommy friends with three kids laughing their heads off and thinking, "Yeah, that will be the day!" It will come though- I promise.

I can remember the last time I felt like this. It was right before Bella was born. I was used to going 110 miles per hour with school, work, waterpolo, social life... then it all began to slow down. That last month of pregnancy living at home mind you. It just that strange calm before the storm feeling. Ahh well, this is life.

In the meanwhile, I'm dabbling with photography. I shot a few different familys for portraits over the holiday and have a couple more interested. It is something I'd love to do as my day job down the road. So I created a blog for just my photo sessions. Check it out... Julie Cahill Photography I'd love to get some feed back good, bad, and ugly!

Laughs with Luke

Do you have those moments when you know dicipline is following their next action?

Yesterday, Luke continued to climb from our balcony to our front entry and I was tired of him locking the door, me having to get up and let him in and then doing it all over again. Not to mention the whole idea of him escaping the patio area I think he's secure in.

So the next time he went to do it I warned him, "Luke if you do it again, you're going to your room for timeout. It's time to stop." Of course he pushes his mom's boundaries and begins to climb over the banister, all the while I'm thinking, well I have to follow through... however this time he throws in with a knocking on our front door, "Open up, it's the mailman!" Which sends me laughing aloud with Bella. Unfortunately, I still had to put him in his room, but not without a good laugh before I opened the door and after I closed the door to his room. Ah, the things they say.

Then there are things like this... wearing the googles that came for his pet animal for Christmas. He's convinced they are for him to wear.

Our callings

My friend Eddie is a youth pastor down in Aromas. I met his friend he's talked about for ages over the summer at a camp out up at my grandpa's property. I heard more about his work at Gospel Graffiti and finally checked the website out. These guys are so talented. I love how God uses our past for His future.

I guess I've been thinking a lot about that since I'm on the job hunt. A few things keep cycling back into my life.... one being Rod's friend asking me to help out at Crisis Pregnancy center where he works. That was the first place I went when I was 20 years old, unmarried, half way through college, with the dad not allowed in my own country with no plans for a pregnancy. Maybe God is calling me to share my story and help other girls see God's power for purpose in our lives?

If not, I'm sure it's something else amazing. It always is with Him.

We need...

More days hitting the 80's

on the coast in the middle of winter.

It is crazy beautiful out!

Maybe global warming isn't such a bad thing after all?

December Highlights

Here are some Decemeber Highlights...


We visited our friend's dad at his firestation. Luke was stoked to sit in the big engine and go for a ride around town in a real firetruck!






Kids sang at church...




I made my own Christmas gifts this year... Aprons. Hair clips. Deco-podge journal. Personalized Stationary. Portuguese Sweet Bread. Magnets.




Rod's best friend from Australia is here for a few weeks, so he stopped by on his way to his girlfriend's place in San Francisco. Those Aussies just love us American girls! Welcome John.



Rod was off work for a week. It's been a treat to have him around and help with the kiddies and nitty griddy, like scrubbing the tub out. We day tripped it to San Francisco or "The Big Smoke" to the Australians. We drove up highway one for the scenic route, pass Pigeon Point Lighthouse...


Jumped on the Bart. The kids were in awe of this speed machine...


Went ice skating in Union Square...


before stopping off at our friends for dinner on our return trip.




Job update:
Ok, still jobless, but I have had a few call backs and interviews lined up... so a little prayer please. My most hopeful one is at Rocking Horse Ranch Preschool. They have outdoor ed with horses and gardening. It's a good fit with what I went to school for... BA teaching/environmental studies. So I'm hanging for a call back. I got an email from the owner on her vacation who said she'd for sure contact me when she gets back... so I wait. The topper would be that they let me bring Luke there, maybe for a discount fee or free.