Crystalizing

It's beginning to become more clear with each day. Yes, I wrestling with this season of waiting and uncertainty but not without faith. I know God promises direction and He always has delivered that for me. So the very day I blogged about the slowness of our (Luke and I) days, He (God) presented me with this from my favorite devotional, Streams in a Desert.

*Note- I ALWAYS read by the day they are dated, however the verse I've been clinging to for almost a year now, was at the top of the page for Feb. 5. Only God knows these things. As I was skipping back to January's current date, low and behold He got my attention so He could say things like this:

"I do not believe we have even begun to understand the wonderful power there is in being still. We are in such a hurry, always doing, that we are in danger of not allowing God the opportunity to work...."

There was lots more of that very-appropriate-for-my-moment wording and then a poem that followed:

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
Nor deem these days--these waiting days--as ill!
The One who loves you best, who plans your way,
Has not forgotten your great need today!
And, if He waits, it's sure He waits to prove
To you His tender child, His heart's deep love.

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
You greatly long to know your dear Lord's will!
While anxious thoughts would almost steal their way
Corroding within, because of His delay--
Persuade yourself in simple faith to rest
That He, who knows and loves, will do the best.

Sit still, my children! Just sit calmly still!
Nor move one step, not even one, until
His way has opened. Then, ah, then how sweet!
How glad your heart, and then how swift your feet,
Your inner being then, ah then, how strong!
And waiting days not counted then too long.

Sit still, my sons & daughters! Just sit calmly still!
What higher service could you for Him fill?
It's hard! ah yes! But choicest things must cost!
For lack of losing all how much is lost!
It's hard, it's true! But then--He gives you grace
To count the hardest spot on the sweetest place.

By J. Danson Smith

I do view the waiting as ill.

I was having anxious thoughts.

I am wanting to know the Lord's will.

But I also know when God does open the door
how glad my heart and swift my feet are. So true.

Job Update:

It's almost comical the things I hear as I hunt for a job...

The stats

The "Job's been filled."

The "Everyone is signing up to substitute teach,

unless you know a teacher you won't get called!"

or the most recent, approaching my THIRD interview

with the SAME company,

scheduled for Wednesday.

It all sounded so promising until...

they called me Monday to say,

"The job position is on hold, so we are canceling the interview."

Really? On hold. I'll add it to my list. Hmmph.

Exhale.

SO....

Inhale.

Job Hunt has turned into

Mission: Going Back to School

School Update:

Currently I'm looking into getting my Special Education Credential in mild to moderate come fall, probably at good old San Jose State. There are 3 places locally I can get a credential, but I'm leaning toward San Jose State University for a few reasons:

1) I did my undergrad there

2) My mom lives in San Jose = childcare = save money

3) Bigger job pool and bigger pay over in San Jose. Currently there are 235 jobs in San Jose vs. 55 jobs in Santa Cruz.

4) Maybe I can crash a few waterpolo practices with the girls and get back in sexy shape:)