I think I would be suicidal if I lived in the snow, cuz we are only on day two of rain and I'm already wondering what a week of the projected rain will do to my kids and I.
It was only two days ago that it was sunshine in the high 70's! Life was glorious... I was out running along side the kids on their bikes, hitting up the surf, going for sunset runs with no kids and not minding being home all day long with the kids while Rod was sailing.
Why? Cuz the sun was out!
Rod invited out Bella's first grade teacher to help crew...
Mrs. Lenz, Rod and their first place cup they won.
But be careful what you wish for cuz a little over a year ago this time I was looking for change.
God change me I prayed. Life seemed stale. I was becoming complacent. Yeah, it happened. I started to have so much time on my hands with Bella off at school and solo time with Luke... I began to wonder and re-evaluate how to spend my mommy days. It is a weird thing to just be home with one.
For so long, Rod imagined my life slow, full of me time- not work in his mind. And for sooooo long he was wrong, dead wrong. I was barely cleaning up breakfast and it was time for lunch. The kids were full of messes and playdates to keep me busy. I didn't even have time to get on the computer or shower regularly. I would go to the gym just for a break and try to maintain a speed fast enough that the machine wouldn't turn off as I read a magazine and tried to relax.
Yet, the kids are growing and things are slowing. At least on these rainy days. I have coffee and clean the house before 9 or 10am (remember it's only 900 sq ft- so don't beat yourself up). Then I stare at Luke wondering how I can make our day productive and fun?
Yeah, somedays we have the library planned or playdate with a friend and I really stick to the rule of accomplishing one big outting for the day... but it's strange to be at this point of mommyhood and not awaiting another baby on the way. It's nice to have this time, but I feel guilty and want to make it productive. However, every outting besides the library seems to cost money. All my mommy friends are homeschooling their kids and busy with that. It's like it's all just slowing down and it's beginning to make me anxious.
I know I'm suppose to be looking for work, but even that isn't working out so well. I'm also looking into going back to school for a masters and teaching credential, but that is still down the road- fall. So life is just this uncomfortable waiting right now. I'm trying to be grateful and appreciate, cuz I know all good things come to an end. I think it's just the weather and the waiting of the unknown future getting to me. I just wonder how our family is going to play out in the next couple years. I guess I'm used to having a plan of attack.
I doubt anyone can relate cuz I was the one of the first to have babies and probably the first to stop having babies. Then there are my mommy friends with three kids laughing their heads off and thinking, "Yeah, that will be the day!" It will come though- I promise.
I can remember the last time I felt like this. It was right before Bella was born. I was used to going 110 miles per hour with school, work, waterpolo, social life... then it all began to slow down. That last month of pregnancy living at home mind you. It just that strange calm before the storm feeling. Ahh well, this is life.
In the meanwhile, I'm dabbling with photography. I shot a few different familys for portraits over the holiday and have a couple more interested. It is something I'd love to do as my day job down the road. So I created a blog for just my photo sessions. Check it out... Julie Cahill Photography I'd love to get some feed back good, bad, and ugly!
2 comments:
Julie, Your photos look GREAT!! I'm sure you could make a little money with these! A lot of money probably. My sis-in-law signed up for these packages to have pics taken of her newborn at increments like 3 mo. 6 mo. 12 mo. etc... with a book at the end. You could charge a lot for that! Excellent job! My friend put up this blog with a few photoshop tips... I thought it was interesting: http://blogoverflow.blogspot.com/2008/05/photoshop-for-real-people.html
I hear you about the cabin fever!! Rainy or just plain cold days are so HARD!! Good luck with that... wish we could hang out and pass the days. So a lot of people home school there now... have you thought about doing that?
Yeah, I'm onto the photography thing, just costly to start up. I'm slowly chipping away at big ticket items with small sitting fees $40.
As for the homeschooling...I think it's just the churchy people, but also it is probably bigger in Santa Cruz. I thought about it and then I remembered that someone else can do that for free. Ah, it's funny cause I do enjoy teaching and am probably going to get a credential, but can't do my own kids daily- I'm not diciplined enough.
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